Flashing before my eyes

Not my life, but my son’s life.  That’s what flashing before my eyes.

Today we have the meeting to set up his move to a group home.  All of the staff will be there, both the folks from his day program and from the house where he will live.

It’s a positive thing, of course, something for which we’ve (my wife and I) waited for a long time.

I can’t speak for her feelings, and I can only guess at our son’s, so I’ll shift to first person here.

I realize that my role in my son’s life is not over, but much of what I can do and shape is.  I’ve formed what I can in his life, second guessed myself to the point of agony, been critiqued and judged plenty from without, as well as encouraged and supported at precious points along the way.

I can look back on…

 

JOEY Yucaipa

 

…who Joey was…

 

 

Daves mom and joe

 

 

…who he’s become…

 

 

 

20170723_110957

 

 

…and ponder who he’ll be.

 

 

 

 

Something of me travels with him, of course.  And I pray that it is whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable (Philippians 4:8).  God knows and every day reminds me that there’s plenty of me that needs to be ignored and forgotten, and I can only pray that little of that drags along with Joey.

So a new leg of the journey commences, over territory we’ve not been and over which we’ll have ever diminishing control.  But ain’t that life.

An old priest I knew always included a warning in his message at the baptism of a child.  You (parents) know that you’re handing your child over to God now.  You’re no longer in charge of the outcomes.

As my life flashes before my eyes, and Joey’s plays across my imagination, I’ll trust that warning, and know that all of our lives are in the hands of the One who’s cared for us beyond all deserving.

 They will declare,  “The Lord is just!  He is my rock!  There is no evil in him!”  (Psalm 92:15, NLT)

It’s on

Here’s the latest on our 23 year old son with autism’s transition to a group residence:

Yes, we have a pre-move team meeting next week and a move in date of November 1, per this message from the Case Manager,

Hello Team,

Joey and I would like to invite you to his ISP Pre-move meeting.

Date: Friday, September 22nd, 2017
Time: 3:30pm
Location: XXXXX Conference Room 3

The purpose of this meeting is to discuss supports Joey will need during his transition to the XXXXX house.

Melissa (mom) is working with Joey on feeling more comfortable with his new computer, which will move with him. He hates change so this was a heck of a time for his old desktop to go kaput.

His most recent antic was to unplug the new laptop, take it off the desk and plop it by its purchase box to say, “Send it back.”

Melissa coached him on being more at home with it, and they had a good discussion one recent morning before his bus arrived and a good hands on lesson last night.

I’m off today and we are planning to go to a sports bar that Joey likes because it is roomy and has great burgers.

Which gave Melissa leverage when he didn’t want his computer lesson. All she had to say was “Working for cheeseburgers.” He complied.

It’s on. The computer is on. The move is on.

Meanwhile the dog did some neurotic paw gnawing last night, opened a wound, and thus cancelled her scheduled bath and grooming.

That’s care giving. Deal with one issue, and the next one comes up from somewhere, somehow.