Growing up in L.A., I was a fan of the Los Angeles Angels when they were a brand-new American League expansion team. When I was a kid, they played in the stadium named for the “real” team: the Dodgers.
But in my childhood, they were a “maybe next year” team. Maybe next year they would win more games than they lost. Maybe next year they would climb up from the bottom of the standings.
We have a “maybe next year” tree by the street in front of our house. We needed a tree out there to block some of the summer sun that routinely fried our lawn. We also craved fall color, so when a landscaper showed us pictures of a maple called a “Fall Fiesta,” we said, “Wow, look at all those fiery leaves! Put one in right now!” So he did. And all the budding leaves fell off, and the tree went dormant. We looked at our bare little tree all winter, praying that dormant was something different from dead. The tree budded in the spring. Of course, it hardly cast any shade, little thing that it was.
The tree done good!
The next year was better. There was noticeable fresh growth on top. It grew taller. Its leaves seemed fuller. It didn’t shield the lawn from the sun, but it cast a respectable shadow where the dog liked to pee on hot days. There were some deep red leaves in the mix for autumn. Each year adds.
Like waiting on a plant to bloom, taking care of an autistic person requires patient hope. Your heart, and maybe your mind, will break if you are into precise timelines. “Next September our kids will achieve ‘X’” must be held loosely. “X” might happen in October, or November, or the following spring, or September two years out, or not for a very long time.
Like hopelessly loyal sports fans or amateur gardeners, caregivers have to keep telling themselves, “Maybe next year.” And in the next year, or tomorrow, or a few seconds from now, a once-abandoned hope arrives as a surprise.
Gardeners like ourselves must learn and relearn “deferred gratification.” We might want to stick a stalk in the ground and see a tree the next day, and we want to think that one or two sit-downs with an exercise book will have our kid reading literature in time for kindergarten.
But when it comes to caring for someone with special needs, it is important to hold a goal patiently. If it is a good goal, it is worth holding onto in heart, mind, and habits over many seasons.
Like travelers using the four cardinal directions on a map, people who follow Jesus find spiritual orientation from three cardinal virtues: “faith, hope and love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV). Hope keeps us looking to the horizon, to what’s next. We hope for what we do not see or have, but believe what can be out there. Hope allows us to act with purpose, believing that our efforts are worthwhile and taking us toward a good destination. It means long seasons of waiting, of doing the right stuff over and over even when a desired result isn’t coming into view.
When we come to terms with hope, we find that it isn’t really about a particular event, thing, or outcome, but it’s about coming face-to-face with the one who is calling us forward.
Edited and shared by the publisher, from my book.