How Can I take My Mother’s License?

One of the hardest and most significant transitions in aging and family care giving…

Shonda and Homecare

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I wish I had more time to write about this question. I’m helping a family with this very issue and few years back I had to tackle this issue head on with my family.

I found this quick article please enjoy

How to take Mom’s license

Just a few hints;

  1. Every situation and every person is different.
  2. Have Pre-talks with family, Friends and/or Physicians before you present this issue head on. I call it, “Do a little Homework” Beware of landmines that maybe trigger points.
  3. Try not to let it get heated, if it does bring it back to the facts or start the conversation later. Please be care if dementia is involved they may tie emotions to the subject even though they may have forgotten the last time they had the conversation.
  4.  And if possible use your “Code Word” if you and your loved have one. (In a prior…

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Master’s Degree in Grumpy

Sorry to have been incommunicado for so long.  Various aspects of life have run over me like a train of late.

This morning a friend was asked about her laid up spouse, “How is he?”

She replied, “He was very grumpy.”

I actually had something to say about that and I’ll repeat it here,

 

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Sometimes grumpy just sneaks up and whispers in your ear.

…”grumpy” is a frequent state for someone in your care. I interact with lots of other caregivers and it is one of the most frequent laments – “Why is the person I’m taking care of so nasty to me sometimes?” The loss of health and with it the loss of freedom, power, and whatever else gets dumped on the person who is loved, trusted and, unfortunately, in firing range. Praying for your husband… and praying for you as you help carry this cross.

To which she replied,  “Tim, that was brilliant and you’ve changed my life so much for the better.”  “Well my hubby has earned a master’s degree in grumpy lately. Even his legendary sense of humor is in recession.”

Grumpy goes with the territory in care giving.  It’s one more stinky pile of what we walk through.  We need to remember that those in our care would give anything to get up and walk freely through something, even a stinky pile of whatever.  And whether we recognize it or not, they sniff out the bad moods we try to hide from them.

Grumpy goes both ways.  God help us all.

Meanwhile, there’s a little snippet from my book for your free perusal over at the publisher’s site. I think I needed my own words this morning,

All people deal with having familiar things plucked out of our lives. And many of us suffer with minds and emotions conditioned to regard such uncomfortable experiences as punishments.

No wonder we’re grumpy.  Hang in there, friends.