We went to a wedding over the weekend. All three of us – our son with autism included.
There was much in our favor. The couple came from an extended family of friends that our son, Joey, knows and enjoys. The atmosphere was happy earthy rather than formal and uptight. The weather featured a few of the rationed really-nice-days allocated to South Dakota every year. And there was food to be downed.
As I shared earlier, the rehearsal went really well for our whole family. And we were going back to the same place with the same folks for the wedding and reception.
Maybe it was the volume of the music in the reception hall. Maybe it was the bigger crowd of people. Whatever it was, it brought out Joey’s “best.”
Here’s a surveillance photo of the suspect. Notice that the look isn’t very happy. That little bucket was full of chex mix for snacking – he pulled it to himself, spilling some and playing tug-o-war with us as we tried to retrieve it. Calm words about “sharing” failed. Then he ate all the chex out of the mix and left us with just the pretzel bits.
What you might not be able to tell from this pic is that he’s not in a chair. He’s on his knees on the floor. We tried to coax him into a chair but that agitated him.
Then he scooted on his knees out into the middle aisle of the reception hall – just as the wedding party was set to make its entrance.
Joey’s figured out that he’s big enough to physically resist mom, so I had to hunker down on the floor and drag him just enough to clear the aisle until the wedding party made it through.
Then he stood up and started walking around in front of the head table, which of course was when people wanted to be taking pictures of the couple and their gorgeous bridesmaids and groomsmen.
I managed to stay just calm enough to convince Joey that he didn’t have to sit if he went and stood by the windows along the wall.
The long and short of it is that Melissa and I enjoyed our friends’ wedding very much, we all had a nice dinner and drinks (several drinks in reaction to Joey) and then came home and collapsed.
Care giving is a game of home court advantage – you usually wind up losing on the road.
My picture of defiant Joey – actually the whole vibe of trying to handle him – reminded me of this recent movie scene: