It ends in a vowel and has a show tune

I mean, all of the medications in the commercials end in a vowel, have a fast talking voice over telling you all of the awful and maybe even fatal side effects, and happy images of people re-perkied (is that a word?) by the drug.

You might have watched THIS ONE.

It ends in a vowel, can impair your breathing and make you die, and it causes people to sing show tunes – what’s perkier than that?

Well dang it, I want MY vowel-ending, catastrophic side effect bringin’, make-me-wanna sing and dance pill, too.

Heart failure? Come on, what about the chronic condition suffered by caregivers – just plain ol’ failure failure? Why does it have to be a bodily function or organ that fails in order to get a magic pill?

Why can’t our abiding sense that we aren’t doing enough or doing it right merit some medication?

I brought this up on Facebook and friends were good enough to provide some musical therapy, both old school…

and somewhat less old school…

And where are our claw foot tubs while I’m at it?  Oh, wait, that one doesn’t end in a vowel.

Come on, pharmaceutics people, we’re waiting out here.

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