TMI, Mature content and all that

Minnesota Mystery Tour 004OK, let’s just go for it. What do you do about erections?

All guys become obsessively aware of them at some point. Heck, it’s a life long thing – there’s a whole pharmaceutical industry built around maintaining ’em.

Of course special needs guys don’t always have the social skills to manage theirs (I know, I know, “That’s not unique to special needs guys,” you’re sayin’.)

Jokes aside, there are a whole range of uncomfortable problems care givers must deal with when this force of nature kicks in. What’s the graceful response to public masturbation, for example? We have a friend whose kid “keeps it in his pants” but wants to grind against the nearest available female, like a small dog coming after your shin.

Sometimes it’s just a kid walking around with the condition “obvious.” I mean, he didn’t do anything to self-stimulate; it’s just there. So what do you do? It’s not a “behavior” you can talk out or redirect – it has a life of its own.

Then there’s the occasional kid who is modest, uncomfortable and confused by the whole thing. Our poor guy makes a distressed face like he’s getting sick, goes to bed and pulls blankets over himself until the problem goes away by itself.

Obviously, raw panic is not the proper care giving response. Hard to say what is. I have a Canadian friend who played minor league hockey, and he has an old coach’s saying about staying composed, “Keep your head up and your stick on the ice.” But that’s just so much joke fodder if you’re talking about erections.

I don’t have great advice to share here. Just commiseration.

But since I’ve manned up and shared this hard topic, I wonder if the Cialis folks will send me one of those complimentary claw foot tubs in which to relax?

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