It’s all like sex!

Our older son and his fiancee are in town. Yesterday we were at a tuxedo selection and fitting for the wedding party guys, including dad.

It was fun to connect with the groomsmen and a couple of the ladies who came along. After the fitting, which went like clockwork, we all went out to Buffalo Wild Wings for late lunch/early dinner.

OK, so what’s the sex business in the title?

Well, the things that made the day go so well all fell under the category of, “Hey, Joey’s not here!”

So much of care giving is like parenting little kids, trying to sneak in sex in the few moments when you are absolutely, positively sure they won’t be walking in on you. For care givers, the game continues way past the few years that young parents have to navigate. And I’m not just talking about sex – I’m talking about anything enjoyable.

The tux fitting was laid back fun because Joey wasn’t there.

The trip out to eat was fun because Joey wasn’t there.*

Real, pack up and go away vacations are on hold until Joey isn’t here.

Many social engagements get wiped off the calendar (if they ever make it on in the first place) because Joey’s still here.

We love Joey. We want only the best for him and there are plenty of moments every day when we delight in being with him. But he can be like a toddler who’s been here for almost 20 years. Every little pleasure we enjoy is squeezed into margins defined by Joey. It’s all like sex, see what I mean?

*Beer, chicken wings and sports on a big screen TV counts as sex, right?

2 thoughts on “It’s all like sex!

  1. My wife has a day off Fridays. Sometimes, after we take the kids in to school, we can take a couple of hours for just ourselves. Mostly, tho’, while the kids are gone and we’re both here, we catch up on other tasks that lay dormant while they were around (such as, for example, fixing the things that they’ve broken during the week, if they’re fixable … or catching up on work that we couldn’t do otherwise, like balance the checkbook, or hit deadlines). But sometimes … it’s nice to have a couple of hours when it’s just us two and we have the energy a night’s sleep can bring!

    • Gotta find and protect those precious times! The temptation is always to play catch up in those hours. But we need to practice catching up on the love and joy more than the tasks. Glad you have that weekly space!

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