Tim describes himself as the introvert and me as the extrovert. However after over 20 years, I think that we are very much alike socially. We both talk to others easily. The difference is in the way we are required to live our lives. He is required to be out, often doing things he would rather not do (such as his second job) for many hours of the day (and some evenings). He has to be away doing things that he wants to do but during evenings when he would like to be home. On the other hand, I often have to be home when I would prefer not to be, mainly because of illness. Lately, weather has kept me from attending a prayer group that I help lead.
Before having been forced to retire, I worked with people; lots of people, and I never tired of it. I miss that. I was content in an atmosphere which required me to keep the business on its toes, keep those under my supervision happy and “playing nicely in the sandbox” and many other things. For years now, this extrovert no longer teaches, negotiates, supervises, plans, keeps up accounting records, manages time closely, runs two very small businesses or raises multiple children.
It is more likely that I would be glad to see someone that I know and hear how they are. I am sick and tired of “me.” Although I become overwhelmed by our son (especially the cleaning-up-excrement part), he is still often a welcome distraction!
When Tim and I went to a pub a couple of weeks ago, being able to stay out for as long as we wished for the first time in about 17 years, the short conversations with strangers were hysterical and uplifted my entire week! I do not think that Tim felt much differently.
However, if my schedule were as tightly-packed as Tim’s, I would be bleeding internally within a few days.
So, of course I do not run away from pleasant people! Admittedly, being alone so much brings out the worst in me. I have too much to say. I can only believe that it is because I am invisible for the majority of every day.