The desire to run away

Yesterday I had some morning quiet time.  I enjoyed some good coffee and reading.  I bumped into this:

Fear and trembling have come over me, and horror overwhelms me.

And I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.

I would flee to a far-off place and make my lodging in the wilderness.

I would hasten to escape from the stormy wind and tempest.”

Ever had that feeling? Care givers can become fed up. The exhaustion, constant effort and lack of “results” generate a longing to escape.

Now, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to respond:

(Unhealthy)                                                                                   (Healthy)
Emotional withdrawal………………………………………….Regular private time

Booze/food/drugs………………………………………………Hobbies/exercise

Affair/porn………………………………………………………..Friends/Groups/Counseling

Packing up and leaving…………………………………………???

What are your alternatives? “Staying” can meaning “stay put but be miserable, unhealthy and destructive.”  What does healthy staying look like?

It’s Sunday, so a thought that I hope helps you: The poem I quoted up above is from the Bible. It’s from the Psalms*, which believers consider to be God-given words for prayer and song. In other words, God gave us language by which to say, “I’m at my wit’s end and want to run away.” God knows it, doesn’t judge it and helps us express it. And if we don’t run away from that idea, perhaps it is a way for God to help us through the feeling.
* #55, verses 6-9.

2 thoughts on “The desire to run away

  1. I think there is a bit of choice in happiness. I found when I quit thinking, “Oh woe is me,” and started thinking, “Look how much love there is to be shared,” I felt much better about my situation. That and the fact that the constant crisis subsided. I feel, though, that I choose to look on the bright side and be happy with what I have instead of wishing for what isn’t. I choose to stay and be happy, to accept the love and grace that is here in abundance, and to try to return it in kind. Regular private time, hobbies, friends and exercise(whatever that is) are part of the staying and being happy too.

    • Darlene – I think you point to a very important reality. The thoughts we hold and nurture create momentum. As John Maxwell puts it, “Momentum can be your best friend or your worst enemy.” If we hold onto unrealistic daydreams and the resentment and frustration they generate, a negative momentum builds. I really like your thought – “Look how much love there is to be shared” – that’s a positive momentum builder for sure.

      This is said to be a Cherokee legend (ya never know what’s real on the internet, and I try to be sensitive to White caricatures of Native people), at any rate, it is a good story that supports your point:

      “An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. ‘A fight is going on inside me,’ he said to the boy.

      ‘It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.’ He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.’

      The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, ‘Which wolf will win?’

      The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.'”

      Thanks, Darlene, for feeding the right wolf!

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